Dear Reader,
I write about the worst part of life — love.
May it heal you more than it breaks you… because it will break you.
All my love,
–B
a lovesong that ended
listen to that song we danced to in your kitchen
listen to it long enough to appreciate what we could have been
but never
listen to it long enough to stay stuck fantasizing what we never were
it was a beautiful moment in time
a lovesong that ended
that i wish could have lasted forever
– B
October 27, 2024 at 11:57 PM
did you even hear what i said?
you wouldn’t know
because you don’t ask
but my god
how you love to talk
i mean —
did you even hear what I said?
– B
October 12, 2024 at 5:07 AM
can love be resurrected?
am i surprised
or is this pain to be expected
when love from the past
becomes resurrected?
dead or alive?
alive or dead?
either way i don’t know —
if our love is living or dead?
– B
October 2, 2024 at 1:40 PM
sort it out
everything seems disorganized — everything seems messy
i try to sort it out and feel bad
that i haven’t already sorted it out
sorta seems like nonsense…
how could i sort it out, before i sort it out?
– B
October 2, 2024 at 1:30 PM
if you want to hurt me
if you want to hurt me
you’ll need my permission
and i’m not giving it to you
respond as you will
do as you do
say whatever you want
karma comes around, baby
and you’ll hurt yourself
trying to hurt me
– B
October 1, 2024 at 11:17 AM
open wounds needs closed
you shut me out
angry if i do the same
relentless with your ego to be strong
you crumble and good for good reason
then use your rubble to throw stones at me
when i express the same sentiment to you, as you do me
“let me be here for you” you say as i open up
“let me be here for you” i say as you shut me out
maybe it’s who you are
maybe it’s what you are
maybe it doesn’t matter whether it’s who you are or what you are
all i know is that you pull me in
and then push me away
i can’t live on standby
i can’t just stand by
i won’t pretend that it’s okay for you to live a fragile life
and cut me every time you break
your breaking is breaking me
i’ll bleed out
open wounds need closed
–B
October 1, 2024 at 11:12 AM
where do i put these memories?
i wash out my vacuum filter
thinking about that time i fixed yours
we laughed standing in your kitchen
we both knew i’d be the one fixing it again
why do the most mundane moments mean so much
and where do I put these memories that made me fall in love with you
when you fall out of love with me?
– B
September 30th, 2024 at 1:29 PM
i thought i could
i thought i could, but i can’t
i can’t love your heart when i know
when i know
when i know
when i know
it’s breaking mine
– B
September 30, 2024 at 1:03 PM
settled
it’s taken some time but you’re settling now
into this new life of yours
and the coffee you’ve been brewing
is waiting to be poured
the boxes are unpacked (mostly)
and your u-haul has been returned
dust is even starting to settle
on that new white couch of yours
therapy has been scheduled
gym visits are becoming routine
you have time for netflix binges
and you’re crushing single-parenting
you’ve never been single
or lived entirely on your own
and three months isn’t long enough
for this new life to feel totally natural
but i see what no one else does
and i know the depth of your pain
i know how this all seems unfair
and how the man you used to love said “you’re entirely to blame”
i know you believed this to be emphatically true
i know how his words have broken you
but just like the boxes that took time to un-pack
your old beliefs need to be sorted through
then you can determine
what beliefs stay
and which ones go
its’ exhausting work — i know, i know, i know
get settled
move on
it’s just you now
and it’s time to go
–B
March 3, 2024 at 6:01AM
i won’t hurt my soul
your prayers arrive empty
because they aren't god's words
i won't hurt my soul
to ease yours
i won't hide my heart
because you lack one
i am who i am
and i am done
trying to change that
at least you love yourself
you like to talk about yourself
pretend that you're listening to me
while you're still thinking on
the next thing to say about you
bud, you are a friend to no one
and only a lover of yourself
ocean eyes
you misjudged me
saw one side of me
thought you'd call me
a drop of water
look up now
into my eyes
see me for
the ocean I am