You know what–I wouldn’t have learned some of my hard relationship lessons about who I am and who my wife is if there wouldn’t have been a strong conflict. I don’t think your life should be lived in conflict; that’d be awful.
But honestly, sometimes you just have to get out what you’re thinking & feeling however you can and then work to resolve it. Of course, there are a ton of good ways resolve those conflicts–but what if you’re in a tough spot where clear answers aren’t staring you in the face?
What if you’re cemented into a disagreement where you don’t know what to say or how to move on?
Do you yell?
Do you ask questions?
Do you spill your guts?
Do you play the silent treatment?
Do you avoid speaking?
The answer is that you do whatever it is you need to do to bring resolution.
1. Decide first & foremost that you are going to make the situation better.
Then, from there make one decision at a time that allows you to bring resolution. You know what? Sometimes I’ve needed my wife to completely ignore me because I deserved it. And other times she has needed for me to be persistent to keep talking about an issue so that it will actually change.
2. Understand every relationship & disagreement is different.
You are unique. Your relationship is different than mine, your parents and your best friends’. There isn’t always a perfect solution to be applied. But–bringing resolution is always the most important thing a couple can do if they want to keep the love alive & going.
3. There’s a time for everything; so take time.
Sometimes you have to stop talking about it and just live. Ecclesiastes 3 says it best, and I’ll paraphrase.
There’s a time & season for everything under the sun. A time for laughing, a time for crying; a time to be born and a time to die; a time to search and a time to give up; a time to give and a time to throw a way; a time for peace and a time for war …
The reality is that you need to put your disagreement into perspective. There’s a time to argue and a time to make up. Don’t let your disagreements take over the love you have in your relationship. Take time to figure out what’s best for you and your relationship by agreeing today with your significant other that you will work to bring resolution to disagreements from today forward.
So let’s fist bump to putting on our big boy & big girl undies. Good relationships don’t just happen. Your relationship should be challenged so that you can learn how to get through difficult times, together.
With My Best,