A deep sigh left our living room feeling bitter and empty.
I let out a long, deep breathe as my body became one with the chair. It’d actually be nicer to be the chair. It just sits there–all day. With no worries, just being comfortable all the time.
I was anything but comfortable. Frustrated. A bit annoyed. How many times are were going to dance around the same issue?
I didn’t mean to–nor did Alexandra. But naturally we’ve developed these expectations for each other. Don’t get me wrong, some of them are super good. Expectations are part of the foundation of good communication and relationships.
Met expectations are typically received with positive reinforcement, giving us all the tingly feelings inside, causing us to repeat those expectations because “It makes us feel good”.
But what about the expectations that are set for you, that don’t make you feel good, but mean the world to your significant other? How much should we care about those ones?
Well, we should care about those expectations even more. Because it’s what we are willing to do for the one we love (that we don’t necessarily love to do) that shows them how committed we are to the relationship.
It deepens the safety, trust and respect that you have in your relationship and there is nothing more valuable than that trio.
We could go WAY deep about safety, trust and respect… But I think simplicity is better. To have a relationship where you feel safe, knowing that your spouse has your back no matter what. That’s freaking amazing. To have trust, knowing that you don’t have to worry about anything your love does because you know they have your best interest in mind… And respect; having boundaries that you just don’t cross because you have an immense amount of respect for the person you love! That’s the type of relationship we’re all seeking AND deserve.
But here’s the catch, in order to have those things, you’ve got to give those things.
Ugh. Give. Something that doesn’t come so natural. It’s our nature to worry, take care of and invest in ourselves. If you’re the one who heads up the family budget, you’ll understand exactly what I mean. It’s super easy to splurge on something that catches your eye, but the moment your partner goes $5 over budget you’re on it like the L.A.P.D.. Ha!
It doesn’t require a master’s degree to have a relationship that is filled with love. But what it will require is your heart. Your attention and intention. And that’s exactly what I have for you today.
The 10 Priorities Challenge: How To Give & Get The Most Out Of Your Relationship
Below is a free downloadable resource for you. It’s pretty straightforward, and its gonna make you think. No one (and I mean no one) has a long-lasting, healthy and happy relationship by accident. You must learn to communicate what you need, and be willing to give 100% of yourself to your relationship if you want it to succeed.
How The Priorities Challenge Works:
- Each of you will write out 10 things you want to GET from your partner
- Then, you’ll each write out 10 things you want to GIVE to your partner
- Take a hot minute to really think about what you want. Nothing’s off limits. These 10 things can be practical, sexual, spiritual… They’re whatever you deeply desire and need within your marriage.
10 Things You’re GIVING
- This part is cool. Once you swap lists, the 10 things that matter most, are the 10 things that your partner says they NEED from you.
- But, the purpose of writing out what you personally want to give, is so you can maybe surprise them of something you WANT to give, but haven’t been so focused on lately.
- And what matters most is the list of 10 things you RECEIVE. Because those are your partner’s needs, and it’s more important you give what they need from you, rather than what you feel they need.
- Nothing’s concrete – you can switch up the list after you both share if it seems right! Don’t freak out… just enjoy the process!
10 Things You NEED
- Be sure to print out the downloadable PDF I have for you below.
- Fold the paper in half and put it on your nightstand, fold it up in your wallet or tape it to the mirror. Put it somewhere you’ll see every day for about a month.
- Remind yourself on the daily, because it’s not like you’re gonna magically remember all 10 things. Be practical; be willing to give 100% of yourself.
And I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. How do you bring attention to your relationship during busy times? Is it easy for you to be focused on what you’re GIVING to your relationship or do you fall into the trap of only caring about what you’re getting? I can’t wait to hear your insights and tips on today’s blog.
We all go through seasons of life. And there’s gonna be a time when you need to do this exercise again. Because needs change as life changes.
Relationships are organic, and they are alive. So you’ve got to give them the nourishment and energy they need in order for you to be healthy & happy.
Invest in your relationship this week and do something worth remembering. It’s the relationship you form with the one you love most, that’s one of the most valuable possession you’ll ever have.
With My Best,
PS – I’m working on my very first book, 21 Gifts… I’ll be sharing loads more very soon!!1,452 views