5 Life Lessons My Man Bun Gave Me

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The scissor comment is always the first one I hear.

“Want me to cut that off for you?” They say.

“Clever comment. No.”

––

I grew up the majority of my life insecure. I probably still am in many ways.

I for sure am in many ways.

But I’m reaching this point in my life where I really just want to like myself.

And there’s nothing good that insecurity has ever done for me.

You know that feeling you get deep within your stomach that tightens up your ability to see clearly out of your eyes when you begin feeling inadequate–ugh. Can I take the check please and never come back to this restaurant again?

I’ll never forget the day I slicked my hair up into its first ever Man Bun.

Something magical happened.

The light was bright in my subway tiled bathroom as I stared back at myself into the mirror.

That feeling was back.

Again.

Knots in the stomach.

I could already feel myself being stared at, made fun of, judged and teased. And for someone who is already overly sensitive to what other people think about them, I began to let my hair back down into something more sensible looking. More manly. (Because I’m so manly already.)

Suddenly my soul grabbed my attention.

It was the opposite feeling of knots in the stomach–it was that feeling of openness within my chest where I felt completely unafraid. That part in a boxing match where the fighter’s face is bloody, but his head remains unbowed.

And I knew this feeling was the one I wanted to keep for my lifetime.

I want to find myself unafraid when my soul catches my mind again.

I want to keep my chin up.

My soul didn’t capture my attention so that I would feed more intensely into my insecurity–it was showing me what the famous poet William Ernest Henley wrote in his poem, Invictus:

I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

To be anything less than the one in control of my soul, would mean I’d forever accept myself based off the acceptance I felt from others.

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PHOTO CREDIT: MATT DAY PHOTOGRAPHY

5 Life Lessons My Man Bun Gave Me

1. I focus on the decision I want to make, rather than decisions others choose for me.

There’s no greater feeling than to respect the advice of others, while confidently moving forward with what you want for your life. I’ll take this lesson in any form I can learn it in.

2. I don’t ignore my intuition.

It would have been so easy to brush off the attention my soul grabbed when I saw my first man bun. But I followed that feeling in my gut to listen to what my soul had to say, and because of that these goldie locks have given me some golden wisdom.

3. I have more verbal (out loud) conversations with my soul.

Our culture is great at doing–and less impressive at being whole people. You are more than what you accomplish, have or post on social media. The better we can become at verbalizing to ourselves what our intention is behind every single thing we do, the deeper sense of peace and fulfillment you’ll bring into each day of your life.

4. I laugh at myself better.

My hair does look kind of ridiculous, and so far all of the meme’s I’ve received have been absolutely hilarious. I can appreciate a good joke at my expense, as long as you let me do the same to you. 😉

5. I learned that peace is found within the thoughts we checkmate.

The battle is in the mind, and the tools are already within your body to conquer.

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So conquer my dear friend. Take responsibility of every emotion you feel, every downward thought you have and choose to rise above them. Checkmate those thoughts.

––

Would you comment below?

I’d really love to hear from you. I’m curious, what story do you have where you battled against your insecurity? Or, which of the 5 points above most resonate with where you are at in life right now, and what action will you take to bring this lesson into your life? I want to hear from you in the comments section below.

Cheers to you!

Bryce

P.S. – Who wants to make fun of this wise man bun now?

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20 thoughts on “5 Life Lessons My Man Bun Gave Me”

  1. It is truly what is beneath the long hair or man bun or whatever you choose to do with your appearance that matters. Thank you for letting your true self be known, even if it comes dressed in a man bun!
    You are an amazing man with such great gifts. Keep the lessons coming!
    -E

    1. Bryce

      Very well put. Thank you so much, E, for your kind words! :)

  2. Jill

    I appreciate that you put your insecurities out there!

    1. Bryce

      It does seem that at times the more we’re able to vulnerable, we gain this inner sense of durability and trust within ourselves.

  3. Jodi (your aunt)

    ❤️I have always told you I loved your man bun❤️ Who cares what people think about it! It’s your hair! People always have to judge because they never want to admit their own insecurities🤔
    Love you Bryce, Aunt Jodi ❤️

    1. Bryce

      ❤️❤️❤️

  4. Such a good read man!!! I can relate with most all of these five points…. and as you well know I have been on the man-bun train for nearly a decade now 😂 lol.

    1. Bryce

      So glad you enjoyed it. Our man buns are cheers’ing each other! 😉

  5. Stephanie

    THIS. “The better we can become at verbalizing to ourselves what our intention is behind every single thing we do, the deeper sense of peace and fulfillment you’ll bring into each day of your life.” This is exactly the wisdom that my soul needed to be reminded of today. Thank you. And I thank your man bun for bringing these lessons to light for you and for all of us. Your soul is a shining light in our universe! Thank you for sharing your light with us all.

    1. Bryce

      Ah. So glad to hear that resonated with you. You’re a gem Stephanie!

  6. Love this post- first I had no idea where you were going with it – and then it went deeply personal — take responsibility for your feelings and rise above my friend, Heck yeah! Great message.

    1. Bryce

      Right on! Love that point shined through to you. :)

  7. Looking good Bryce!

    I find having long hair challenges people. They have the challenge to peg you as what they believe you are or wait until they know you to form an opinion. Good thing is, no matter what anyone looks like, we are all the same. The man bun can help people realize that. 😉

    Man bun, pony, all the way down, and the ability to cut any time. All about the versatility!

    Great read.

    1. Bryce

      Totally agree; we’re all the same. Glad you enjoyed the read and glad to hear you’re long locks are still in tack!

  8. Graham

    Dude that is a great blog, I can really relate in a lot of ways. But it’s hard to know that about a person unless they are open, thanks for being open man👍🏼

    1. Bryce

      You’re so welcome, Graham. We’re all so good at keeping the Facebook illusion alive that everything is shiny, happy and perfect–when in reality we all of real stuff that we’ve got to deal with. And the reality is that when we expose it, it just shows everyone else in the room that we’re all more alike than we realize.

  9. Cheryl Powell

    Kudos!! Love love love, cp/

    1. Bryce

      <3 <3 <3

  10. Barb Holmes

    Wow, I’m truly blessed by these words of wisdom and encouragement. Being fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, we must learn how to accept ourselves. Not just our outer shell, but the inner makings of your soul. There are many ways to go about learning to embrace your “whole” self. I’m am compelled to open up an inner dialogue and allow it to draw me closer to the person I was created to be. Thx again for your honesty and transparency.

    1. Bryce

      “I am compelled to open up an inner dialogue and allow it to draw me closer to the person I want to be.” Wow–you just gave me so much back within that comment. Thank you Barb!

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